The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun (the front passenger
seat) in an automobile. These rules are definitive and binding.
Section I: The Basic Rules
1. In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word "Shotgun"
in a clear voice. This call must be heard and acknowledged by the driver.
The other occupants of the vehicle need not hear the call as long as the
driver verifies the call.
2. Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle are outside
and on the way to said vehicle.
3. Early calls are strictly prohibited. Shotgun may only be called while
walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive immediately forthcoming.
Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still technically
on the way to the first location. For example, one can not get out of a
vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.
4. The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has the
right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.
Section II: Special Cases
These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in the
order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of
the cases beneath it, when applicable.
1. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is unable to perform
their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.
2. In the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is not
driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
3. In the instance the driver's spouse, or date for the evening is going
to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they
decline.
4. In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill during the
course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she will toss their
cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make appropriate
use of the window.
5. In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given location
and this person is not the driver, then, as the designated navigator for
the group, they automatically get Shotgun, unless they decline.
6. In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to fit
comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and award Shotgun
to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and other passengers may
continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three hour trip with him
crammed in the back.
Section III: The Survival of the Fittest Rule
1. If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival of the Fittest
Rule on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all rules, excepting
I-4, are suspended and the front passenger seat is occupied by whoever can
take it by force.
2. The driver must announce the institution of the Survival of the Fittest
Rule with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause reduces the
amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to the vehicle.
* Please follow the above rules to the best of your ability. If there
are any arguments or exceptions not covered in these rules, please refer
to rule I-4.