Earth First - We'll log the other planets later.
No Officer, I'm not speeding - I'm just qualifying
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Rehab is for quitters.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
I'm not in heat SO GET OFF MY TAIL!
Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading.
I have PMS and a gun... did you have something to say?
Happiness is a belt fed automatic weapon.
Driver carries only $20 worth of ammunition.
I still miss my ex... but my aim is getting better!
Fight crime, shoot back.
Gun control means using both hands!
Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
My honor student fired your stupid kid.
Happiness is Clinton's face on a milk carton.
Empty the prisons. Make room for congress.
Do you trust a government that doesn't trust you with guns?
Insured by the Mafia. You hit me-- WE hit you.
The road to hell Is paved with Democrats.
I'm lost. But I am making record time.
Don't laugh. This is my other car.
Buy American. While there is still time.
Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
My car has killed more people than O.J.
If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.
I love my country, but fear my goverment.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
United States Marines: When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight.
U.S. Airforce: Cruise missles delivered within 30 minutes or the next one is free..
Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
Cat... the other white meat.
Don't laugh at the fogged up windows, it's your daughter in here!
I only do what the voices in my head tell me to...
I may be a cruel, heartless bitch, but I'm good at it.
Kevorkian can fit you in next Monday.
The whole world is going to hell, and I'm driving the bus.
I'm thinking the same thing about you.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Next mood swing: 6 minutes
I'm multi-talented. I can drive and piss you off at the same time.
I hate everybody. You're next!
Please don't make me kill you.
I smile 'cause you've all finally driven me insane.
And your point is...
All stressed out and no one to choke.
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
It was only a lane change!
So many stupid people - so few comets.
A fool and his money are my best friends.
If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Missing: husband and dog. Reward for dog.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
Support mental health - or I'll kill you!
And you thought voting for multi-lingual driver's testing was a good idea!
Madness takes its toll - please have exact change ready.
Not Drunk. Just Blonde.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Your IQ test was negative.
Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
Support a Lawyer, Become a Doctor.
Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
Who cares who's on board?