You might be a racer if ...


- You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
- You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars.
- You feel compelled, on a road trip, to beat your previous best time.
- You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing.
- When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
- You bought a race car before buying a house.
- You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
- You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
- You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires that could have been purchased.
- You know that Orthodontic work is the equivalant of three sets of tires.
- You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
- You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
- Your wife says, "If you buy another set of tires, I'm getting a new mink."
- Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
- You have enough spare parts to build another car.
- More than one race supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.
- You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
- You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Racers, start your engines!"
- If you can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends.
- People know you by your class letter, car number, and car color.
- People know you by your "off"s". "Oh, you're the one got stuck in the mud at ButtonWillow last weekend!"
- You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
- Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.
- Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills. Air tools optional.
- Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit.
- Your family remembers your hair color as "grease".
- You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
- You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so.
- You remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been in, but can't remember your phone number.
- Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.
- You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
- A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
- You give out Summit Racing's number when a friend asks for the best hardware store.
- You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
- You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your passenger gives you a real funny look.
- You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of course, you are the best.
- You can't stand understeer.
- You always want to change something in your street car to make it handle better.
- You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.
- You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.
- You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.
- You've ever tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her station wagon.
- You save broken car parts as "momentos".
- Your last several freeway forays included just brushing the curbs as you apexed the on-ramps perfectly....
- You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol).
- The local tire shop won't honor the tread life warranty on any car you have been within 50 yards of...
- The shop manager at your local car dealer mutters "dear Lord" under his breath after he sees the size of your exhaust piping.
- The local police and state Highway Patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.
- You spend more time polishing your exhaust tip every day than you do bathing.
- Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have timeslips.
- You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it were an option.
- You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.
- White smoke coming out from under your tires is a common sight.
- You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a fun limiter"
- You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.
- Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for given situations.
- When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Auto Math Handbook"


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Hot Rods & Custom Stuff, 2324 Auto Park Way, Escondido, CA., 1-800-HOT-ROD-5.

Hot Rods & Custom Stuff - builds, restores, paints, services and sells parts for classic autos, cars, trucks and street rods.