How to Identify the Driver's Home:

 

UNITED STATES:

* One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York.

* One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago.

* One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.

* One hand on wheel, middle finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.

* One hand on wheel, one hand in pants, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles, CA.

* Driving brand-new BMW, I-Pod plugged into stereo, multi-tasking on wi-fi IBM laptop and black-berry while consulting with on-board GPS to find way around traffic--Bush/Cheney bumper sticker on back window: San Diego, CA. (original to this website).

* Driving 5-year-old Volve, I-Pod in shirt pocket, multi-tasking on stand alone Apple Powerbook and electronic day-planner while consulting with Thomas Guide to find way around traffic--Gore/Lieberman bumper sticker on trunk lid: San Francisco, CA. (original to this website).

* Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

* One hand on 12oz. double-shot Latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: Seattle.

* One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas (city male).

* One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas (country male).

* One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas (country female).

* Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car: Colorado.

* One hand on steering, yelling obscenities, the other hand a waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plates.

* Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.

* Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, AR-15 mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, prairie dog tails attached to antenna: Wyoming.

* Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.

* One arm out window, one hand gripping a mason jar, driving with knees, car weaving, radio blasting, and plastic Elvis in rear window: Tennessee.

* One hand on the wheel, The other on his sister: Arkansas.

* No hands on the wheel, Driving with the knees, applying makeup,talking on cell phone, writing in journal, reading scriptures, nine kids screaming in the back, 'Families are Forever' bumper sticker: Utah.

* Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, Driving 35 on the interstate, in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.

 

Other Coutnries:

* Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.

* Driving supercharged Mercedes Sedan, driving with one hand, smoking cigarette with other, Wagner blasting on Blaupunkt, flashing headlights and swearing at everyone in front of him: Germany.


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Hot Rods & Custom Stuff, 2324 Auto Park Way, Escondido, CA., 1-800-HOT-ROD-5.

Hot Rods & Custom Stuff - builds, restores, paints, services and sells parts for classic autos, cars, trucks and street rods.