Used Car Classifieds Translations


If the ad says…. it really means….


MUST SELL… before it blows up.
RUNS FINE… I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last minute attack of conscience.
NEEDS SOME BODY WORK… was side-swiped by a Winnebago.
WELL-MAINTAINED… I occasionally changed the oil.
LOOKS LIKE NEW… just don't try to drive it anywhere.
ALL ORIGINAL… I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.
LOADED WITH OPTIONS… each one more troublesome than the last.
NEVER SMOKED IN… unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.
PROJECT CAR… I can't figure out how to finish it and I doubt you will either. d.
BURNS NO OIL... (it all leaks out).
REBUILT ENGINE... cleaned the spark plugs.
DRIVE IT AWAY... I live on a hill.
DRIVE IT ANYWHERE... (within 10 miles).
DESIRABLE CLASSIC... no one wants it.
RARE CLASSIC... no one wanted it even when it was new.
STORED 20 YEARS... (in a farmer's field).
RAN WHEN STORED... won't start.
NEVER APART... bolts too rounded to loosen.
SOLID AS A ROCK... rusted solid
OTHER INTERESTS CONFLICT... spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I do!"